It has been frustrating lately, running.
Various aches and pains have been bugging me. They have been for quite some time and the usual shrugging them off isn’t quite working. It’s messing with my head as well—there goes ze mental health. Not good.
What I’d really like is some distance. As much as I love some people around me, sometimes, I wish I could be away. That I would not be here for them. It seems like a whole different issue altogether from running but it’s part of it.
Running is part of me and my identity. I wish I didn’t have to fight so hard for it or at all. I see myself acting like a bitter and resentful person sometimes, and I don’t like it. Not being able to run without being in pain after just makes me nuts.
When someone else goes on and on about their sporting activities and you have nothing, it feels shitty. You want to be supportive but at the same time you’re envious of their opportunities. Tough spot.
Character building again, God? This feels like one long summer training camp and I can’t see the end.