I can’t believe it took me this long to get back here. I’ve been swamped. For some weird reason work is kicking my ass. I devote more time to it that I ought to but I’m still lagging behind. This damned work ethic is going to be the death of me. I can’t fight against my nature; plod on, I shall until I get it done satisfactorily—at the very least.
The last few has been a series of one somewhat shitty week after the next. I’m in a holding pattern of sorts right now, a purgatory, this last two have actually not been as horrid. I’m keeping my fingertoes crossed.
All these mixed goings on got me to thinking—ha! I seldom do that anymore. Having to interact with more people make me wonder how I come off, what vibe I put out. Generally, my attitude is the usual IDGRA, but a little self-examination is healthy from time to time.
My college bestie once told me that I gave off a very unapproachable, intimidating vibe at first impression. From the few others whose opinions I trust, I got similar feedback. I’m well aware that I’m confident but I can also be shy (weird combo huh?) Le sis says it’s pride, that can sometimes be mistaken for arrogance or angas in Filipino to be exact. Whatever. I admit to the pride. My family says there isn’t anything wrong with a bit of pride, too much of it however, is something else.
I’d like to think I’ve mellowed some over the years, but maybe not enough. In the end, I hope that the humility shows through too. I know I have it aplenty; especially when it counts.
I don’t know why I would care though, when I normally don’t. I guess it’s a way to course-correct in case I’m acquiring some bad habits or leaning towards tendencies I wouldn’t like in others but is in my own personal blind spot.
Anyway, that’s enough of that foolishness for now. I’ll let you know if I discover that I’ve turned into an unbearable blowhard after all.