I’ve been thinking about it for some time now, I’ve been thinking how my world is feeling ever so smaller, like it’s closing in on me.
While I laughingly blame it on my anti-social personality disorder, these days, I get the feeling that it’s going to stop my laughter sooner rather than later. I have a very small circle of people around, while I generally think of this as a good thing because it shows I’m a bit picky with people—that can’t be all that bad—I sometimes wonder if I’m too picky. Not making new friends and having that feeling that my world is not expanding is ever so slightly worrisome, especially because it’s a pattern I see in myself that’s solidifying as the years pass.
I’m trying to set out on my own, it’s the only way I know how. How does one meet people who are on the same wavelength? I miss having a really good friend with real opinions, though in an ideal world, we’d have them along similar lines. We’ll have differing opinions on the inconsequential stuff, that’ll only make conversations livelier, but in essence my “good friend/s” and I see eye to eye on the basic, the core stuff.
This makes me sound so ungrateful for the few that I have. I’m not. I’m so glad they’re around. Still, it does not stop me from wondering if my friendship potential is stunted.
For now I’m here in my island, I’ll signal via semaphore if necessary and on occasion, I’ll even try to swim out and meet potential friends halfway.