The Race is Long

The Month of Being Bitter

I’m big enough to admit it; yes, bitter I am.

But like they say from bitter seeds of patience come sweet fruit—which moron came up with that? Anyway, people have come and gone and I’m still here, stuck. I hate that. It sounds so passive, like there’s nothing I can do about it.

I was saving up for Japan,  the marathon is set for next month but I knew 4 weeks ago that I just won’t be able to swing it. My piggy bank cannot cover it. Oddly enough someone close to me landed a trip to Japan for a holiday a couple of weeks ago. No nothing. No plans; no expense; all free. I’m happy for them but there’s that ever so slightly bitter taste.

Another one of my “people” was waiting for a slot in another marathon that has been closed out for ages, while this one didn’t get a slot there, she landed one in the Marine Corps Marathon. She’ll be running on Sunday. Again, dying of envy and some potent drops of bitterness over here.

I’m laughing about all this. I’m sincerely happy for their good fortune. The best I can frame the situation is, “my turn will come.” I cannot help feeling the way I do but I know it will get better—I just hope I live to see it. Now, if I could just have my head and body back and go running, that would go a long way to making me bitterness-free.

I’m looking forward to Halloween and the end of this month. And as a parting shot, October, you better watch it next year.

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