It’s a bit difficult going back to Monday after a 4-day break. Actually, it’s harder because of other reasons as well. In any case, I gotta get moving.
I often have conflicts about my work. I suppose that to a certain extent, I detach myself, I do not invest as much, fight for ideas and so on because I’m an employee. I do find myself caring more—not that I don’t care—from time to time but I don’t like being shot down and I remind myself of my place; I have a tendency to argue passionately and I have to keep that in check. I know that from an entrepreneur’s point-of-view it’s also hard to have someone else think they know better or fight for ideas for your company that might not necessarily go with your vision.
I miss having my own thing to run. Yesterday, one conversation went that way when someone I had not seen in a long time asked about one of the businesses I used to be in and the surprised reaction to the news that I shut that down. I was actually shocked by the reaction, as if this person could not picture me closing shop and working for someone else. To a degree, I found it flattering, comforting even.
Perhaps I need to realize for myself again what I’m capable of. I really hope I get to it sooner rather than later.