To the Pain

My Normal

I’m hoping it isn’t so. I’m pretty sure it isn’t but going on week three of feeling iffy day in day out has me doubting.

Every morning as I slowly wake up, I do a certain check. I gauge how I’m feeling even before I get up from bed. Do I have pain in my temples, do my eyes feel like they’re about to pop out, am I feeling any dizziness or nausea, have I got any neck pain, and so on. While a lot of the last 19 days had me waking to a symptom of some sort, they weren’t all so bad as to have me not functioning. Still, I’m waiting for the day I wake up feeling good, normal, like I can bounce out of bed, no worries.

For nearly more than half of the last few weeks, one other sign that things aren’t normal is the fact that I haven’t gone on a run. While there may be other reasons tied up with that, not being active is a sure sign that I’m not feeling too good. Surprisingly, I have been able to swim a bit; I just know I can’t push it because I hate after swim headaches. I hate having pain associated with one of my favorites things.

I’m getting a bit impatient. I don’t want to worry about it because that won’t really help me anyway. I’ll wake up and there will be no pain, no discomfort. I just know that it’ll happen; it has to.

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