I just got served a big helping of a “you can never can tell,” as we sometimes laughingly say over here. Unfortunately, in this case, there isn’t much to laugh about. I’m experiencing a case of the-last-person-you-think-would-do-something-(and to someone)-that-you-thought-they-never-would. There you go. The news caught me flatfooted. My mouth hung agape. A weird rotation of ashamed, angry, and aghast played through my face for several minutes.
For a little time there, I felt like a foolish over reactor. But I soon realised that I wasn’t alone in feeling the way I did so I took a little comfort in that. I feel things passionately, that’s me. There are times I’m indifference personified but there are times when containing my feelings aren’t important, when I believe the opposite is actually called for. I’m still not quite over this incident but I’m almost there.
I cannot abide people who are disloyal. I do believe that there’s a special place in hell for betrayers. The fourth ring of the ninth circle, according to Dante. In Inferno, fraud is touted as the biggest evil, “fraud, more than any other crime, acts contrary to God’s greatest gift to mankind—love… So-called ordinary fraud only breaks the natural bonds of trust and love that form between men; other categories of fraud reach an even greater depth of evil because they break an additional bond of love… But fraud against a benefactor constitutes the worst fraud of all…it violates a love that is purely voluntary.”
This betrayal, a literal act of fraud, is the non-ordinary kind from Dante’s example above. Thievery, deception, and manipulation showed up in its various acts.
As the shock of finding out about it settled, I waited for a sign of remorse. Something. Anything. While I wasn’t the betrayed party—well, perhaps indirectly—I had hoped that I merited some consideration. If not an explanation, at least a goodbye. I extended a branch of friendship of sorts but it was refused. What the hell was I thinking?
I’ve gone past the shock; I’m still firmly in the anger phase. As per my standard MO, I hope to move on to indifference. Do I wish this person ill? Not really. She’s a pitiful creature in my opinion, nothing but pond scum. I do believe she ought to be exposed for what she really is: a person not worthy of trust. A pretender. A betrayer. A delusional thief and a bad one at that.