That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Today was an example of a really shameful case of defeat. It was a complete and utter mental capitulation. In all the years I’ve been doing this, I can’t remember such a display of lack of fight; of just giving over to the heat and discomfort; of just wanting to stop, go under the shade and get a drink of water or to just go home.
Physically, I was feeling okay. It was slow going—as usual. I started out late and the sun was out in full blaze. I planned on taking it slow and steady the whole way. As I rounded the corner for the last kilometer and a half of my run, it all went to hell. All of a sudden all I could think of was how hot it was, how my skin was burning, how the brightness hurt my eyes, and how the heat penetrated my shoes. All of a sudden, I was going nuts about the heat. That’s the best way I can describe it. In the span of a few hundred meters I went from struggling to insane. I can’t really say I’ve bonked before, as in run out of fuel, totally, but going crazy in a such a short span is pretty close.
In the end, I know it’s my own fault. I braved the late morning sun. It’s a choice that in my current state, is really a stupid one. Blaming the failure (almost, I actually reached the distance I’m supposed to cover, except I walked .3k of the last bit. Also, I really planned to do an additional kilometer) of this Sunday run on the sun is like blaming the dog for my homework. I know better.